


Beautiful.

by Miranda_tries_their_best



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Crushes, Gay Panic, Kinda, Language of Flowers, Logan doesn't know how to handle his feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-26
Updated: 2018-09-26
Packaged: 2019-07-17 20:05:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16102844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miranda_tries_their_best/pseuds/Miranda_tries_their_best
Summary: Beauty is mostly pointless anyway.Logan was content living in his dull colored world. Until he wasn’t anymore.It was frustrating, irritating, infuriating, aggregating. It should have been a normal day, it should have been plain and easy as any other day. “Let’s try that new bakery this morning.” He thought. “It would save time making breakfast.” He thought.He should have stayed in bed.





	Beautiful.

Beauty: a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.

Beautiful: pleasing the senses or mind aesthetically.

Simple concepts, Logan thought.

  
He always preferred the term ‘aesthetically pleasing’ over the word 'Beautiful’ due to nothing in his life is more than just satisfying. The world around him was simply there, a fact of life. If he sometimes found males to be objectively more stimulating to look at then females, if he found certain dark and cool colors more pleasing to the eye if the night sky momentarily made him pause in awe and wonder then he would accept that this is the limit of beauty for someone like him.

Beauty is mostly pointless anyway.

Logan was content living in his dull colored world. Until he wasn’t anymore.

It was frustrating, irritating, infuriating, aggregating. It should have been a normal day, it should have been plain and easy as any other day. “Let’s try that new bakery this morning.” He thought. “It would save time making breakfast.” He thought.

 

He should have stayed in bed.

How was he supposed to know that upon entering the small shop named, “Patton’s Pattries.” That his entire world would shake and crumble before him.

 

It was falsely routine to walk up to the counter, wait in a short line. He was glancing through his emails on his phone until it was his turn to step up and order. He had simply looked up from his cell to order a blueberry muffin, it wasn’t supposed to be hard.

 

But for the first time in his short meaningless life, he felt like he could truly see color. Sky blue eyes shining behind glasses that looked suspiciously similar to his and a bright smile that could put the sun to shame had stolen his words from his throat. A cheery voice that could rival an angels song speaking to him.

“Heya Pal! I’m Patton, ready to be the apple of your eye!” 'Patton’ winked as he held up an apple fritter. Logan would of been ashamed of how long he stared at the man being the counter if his brain could function enough to process time at that moment but his heart pounded in his chest. He could feel his face heating up as his stomach did flips inside him. He couldn’t look away but he feared he was about to be sick because the sight of this man alone made his stomach do flips.

A horrible stabbing feeling shot through his chest when he saw Patton’s smile fade slightly, how could is dim like this but still be the brightest thing in the room? “Sir? Sir, you need to breathe- please.” That chiming voice rang through his head again. He has to force his lungs to work, sucking in a sharp breath that nearly makes him dizzy.

His thoughts slightly return to him, he can tell he’s making a scene, eyes watching him with confusion and worry. As a man of logic, he did the only proper thing someone as intelligent as him could think of.

 

He ran.

 

He dashed straight out the door and back to his home where he nearly broke the locks on his door out of frustration. His hands shake violently as he reaches into his pocket for his phone, he needs to call into work. He can’t go in while he’s like this but he can’t find the stupid device-

Oh no.

 

He was holding it in the shop, did he drop it? It must still be there, the man must have picked it up. He can picture it now, Logan’s phone in his hand as he stares at the door in confusion. “What a freak.” This 'Patton’ must be thinking, a frown on his sun-kissed face. He might be angry too, Logan did just walk in and interrupt his business. Maybe he’s calling the police to- No. That wouldn’t make sense. Logan has to force himself to breathe once more, to remind himself that while he likely didn’t make the best first impression that he didn’t actually do anything wrong.

 

Patton, along with the rest of the customers in the little shop would likely be concerned for a bit before moving on with their lives and forgetting Logan ever existed.

 

Logan at this point fell onto his couch, draping his arm over his eyes. All he could see though was that man, he could stare at the freckles across his face longer he could the stars. How he would love to map them, to learn and memorize every dot across that man’s skin. He felt like he would forever long to run his fingers through Patton’s curly hair, watch the short waves mimic the ocean in the breeze.

 

That man…

 

That man is beautiful.

 

Logan hates him, he realizes. He hates him with a passion he didn’t know he could experience. What else could this sickly feeling be? A feeling that leaves him feeling restless with a physical ache inside his chest.

He hates those eyes that made him question if the sky was a duller blue.

He hated those glasses that looked way too similar to his own yet somehow looked better on Patton.

He hated those freckles that stole away his passion for the stars.

He hated that smile that made the sun seem dim in comparison.

He hated that a stupid pun was the first he heard from that angelic voice

 

He hated that he probably ruined any chance to even speak with Patton again.

 

* * *

 

It was weeks later, he decided just to get a new phone and take a longer way to work to avoid that shop. Logan’s exhausted, he couldn’t so much as close his eyes without seeing the cute man from the pastry stop. He couldn’t eat without feeling sick to his stomach after, his world was supposed to be gray and dark and predictable but now he’s a mess. His boss had all but forced him to take some time off, years of constantly working over time lead to a lot of vacation hours apparently.

 

Logan knows that they were trying to help him but it felt more like this was a punishment, how dare he start to feel. How could he not be over it by now?

With a long sigh Logan forces himself to sit up from his bed, he will not fall out of routine just because he doesn’t have anything to do. He gets dressed and heads out of his house, down a familiar street. Each step towards the dreaded bakery fills him with a burning rage. He can’t live like this, he must confront the root of the issue before it tears apart his life.

 

He nearly throws open the door to the scene of the crime, the man behind the counter jumps and looks at him. Logan is slightly grateful that the shop is empty as he walks to the front counter, he’s not sure what he about to say in his wrath but it gets caught in his throat when he sees Patton quickly rub away tears from his eyes and put on that smile that’s been haunting his dreams.

 

“Oh uh- Hello! How may I help you?” Patton is so much quieter then Logan remembers, the slight tremble in his voice shaking Logan to his core.

 

“I-I uh-” Shit, he forgot how to speak again. All the anger that built up inside him melted away the moment he saw tears on the baker’s face. “Phone?” He manages to choke out.

He can see the confusion in Patton’s eyes before that spark of realization. “Oh! It’s you! Are you um… Were you okay? I have a friend that gets anxiety attacks like that sometimes…” He simply reaches under the counter and slides Logan’s old phone to him, the battery is likely dead and it’s already useless but it excuses Logan presence here.

 

He can’t deny the huge relief that fills him when he knows that Patton doesn’t judge him for running out suddenly. Even if Logan was sure that was a perfectly natural reaction and not an anxiety attack. “Yes, I was just-” Logan clears his throat. “I am fine now but… Are you?” He doesn’t know why he’s asking, normally he would avoid asking about anyone’s feelings.

Patton’s giggle chimes through his being but he doesn’t let it distract him from the fact the baker’s smile is forced wider. “I’m feeling just peachy!” He looks at Logan for a moment before speaking again. “You wouldn’t know but I was making a peach cobbler earlier and- nh-nevermind.” Logan almost jumps over the counter separating them when Patton stares down at the ground, he has enough self-control left to remind him that it’s questionably legal to do that.

 

Logan shoves his old phone into his pocket as someone else enters the pastry shop, he feels like he’s ready to murder the stranger but Patton’s smile becomes a little less fake as he greets the old woman coming in. Logan steps to the side for a moment to allow her to order though it seems like he doesn’t need to as Patton already has brownies put aside for her. The seconds feel like hours as Logan tries to be patient, the woman leaves soon enough and Logan is back in front of the counter.

 

He comes to the realization quite suddenly, this feeling isn’t hate. It must be some sort of obsession, some sort of infatuation with this man.

 

Oh god.

 

Oh god no.

 

“I have a crush…” He mutters under his breath, completely forgetting said crush was standing right in front of him and now giving him a strange look.

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. What did you say?” Patton’s voice is what slaps him out of his shock.

 

There are a million different ways Logan could handle this. He could inquire why Patton was crying, he could offer some sort of comfort, he could just make light conversation or order something, maybe get Patton’s number.

“I-” Just play it cool, Logan’s the master of his emotions. They barely affect him anyway, he is a cold and collected robot. “You- uh… Wh-we have the sa-same glasses.” He stuttered out, wincing slightly as his voice cracks. He can feel the burning hot shame on the back of his neck, how can he be so stupid? What the hell- Oh.

_Oh._

 

All Logan’s embarrassment is replaced with a strange warm feeling in his chest as Patton’s face lights up, he looks like a child that just got a puppy. “Oh my gosh! We do! That’s so cool!” Patton pulls off his own glasses to look at them and Logan side by side, soft giggles that make the butterflies in Logan’s stomach go rabid. “We could totally match!”

Perfect, this is the perfect opportunity to be smooth and drop in a pickup line or something horribly cheesy like that but still displays the taller man’s interest. “Yh-yeah, I mean, yeah. Bye.” But Logan blows it.

 

He flees from the pastry shop once more, though to Logan’s credit he didn’t create too much of a scene this time though Patton is likely to think Logan is strange but at least he seems to not hate him. Logan may have a chance, after all, assuming he isn’t about to attempt to woo a straight man. He supposes if all fails Logan can just avoid that street for the rest of his lifespan.

 

* * *

 

A week later Logan stands outside the pastry shop with a carefully wrapped bouquet, waiting for it to close at 5 pm. He keeps glancing at his watch, 4:57 pm. He’s minutes away, he just needs that last god damn customer to leave so that he can enter 'woo’ Patton. He’s getting impatient and his nerves are starting to take over but he won’t let himself run away this time, he spent hours researching flowers and then driving to flower shops to buy the right ones.

 

The small bell that signals the door opening gets Logan moving, finally, finally Logan can enter the small shop. He clumsily hides the flowers behind his back as he steps in, greeted by that smile that’s been haunting him at night. “Oh, hey again! I didn’t think you would come back, shame because I’d love to be close to you~” He laughs softly. “But we are just about to close I’m afraid…” He says with a crooked smile, leaning over the counter.

Logan thought he was nervous before, now he’s sure his heart is about to explode on him. “Yes, I um- I’m aware but I just, uh…” His hands are getting gross and clammy from his death grip on the flowers. Oh god, he’s crushing the flowers! In his panic he pulls them from behind his back and shoves them at the poor confused shop owner, Patton barely reacting in time to keep the bouquet from falling to the ground. “Ah! Oh, I-I’m sorry! That- that was more force then I intended- I-”

A gentle hand touches his arm, pulling him from his spiraling thoughts. Logan looks up to see Patton smiling at him. “It’s okay, no need to start petaling into a panic.” Patton  says with a wink before his expression softens, looking down at the flowers in his arms.“ They’re beautiful flowers… Is there any reason they were thrown at my face though?”

“Oh, yes!” Logan straightens his back at that, he rehearsed this part. “I mean no… I didn’t mean to throw it…” He can do this. The taller man takes a deep breath to calm himself down before he starts speaking. “That re- That flower there is a Gloxinia, it… It symbolizes love, at first sight, I was so- I was immensely overwhelmed when I met you that… The Gloxinia fits.” Logan could feel himself getting choked up again, everything feeling way too hot. “The orange rose for fascination, I have not been able to get you out of my head since I first saw you… That leads to the red carnations, they represent my heart aching for you.” He pauses a moment to clear his throat, keep calm and breathe. “And that, that little white and yellow flower are a uh- a Jonquil. It means a desire for you to return my feel- my affection.”

Logan chances a glance at Patton, seeing the smaller males face entirely red as he stares at him with wide eyes. They make eye contact with each other for a moment before Patton looks down at the flowers again and frowns slightly. “What about this one? It’s a… What are they called? I see them around a lot.” He asks, looking back to Logan.

Logan can feel a small tug at his lips, the barest smile sneaking onto his lips. “It’s a peony… Because peonies are gay.” The amount of pride that fills him when Patton let’s out a shocked laugh is unbelievable, his laughter infecting Logan and making him chuckle slightly. The baker’s giggles easing some of the tension in the taller man’s shoulders. “I understand if this is a… A bit strange. I completely understand if you need time to consider or even do not wish to engage in such romantic activities with me, of course. I will respect your decisions and leave you be if you are perhaps put off by my actions… I shouldn’t have done this at your work, this is highly unprofessional, isn’t it? I’m sorry for any inconveniences-”

“What’s your name?” Patton’s voice cuts off his mini-rant, leaving him confused for a moment before he realized.

He never gave Patton his name. “Logan, my name is Logan Berry.” He shifts to make sure he’s standing straight as he holds out his hand for the other to shake.

Patton doesn’t shake his hand, instead taking his hand and holding it gently. “Well, Mr. Logan Berry. Would you like to accompany me to dinner?” The baker asks with that smile that melts Logan’s soul.

 

“Very much so, yes.”

 

* * *

 

Virgil sat on the couch, eating ice cream as Patton practically danced around the room while going through the details of his date with the guy that freaked out and left his phone a month or two ago.   
“Okay, wait.” The darkly dressed man raised his spoon at Patton. “You’re telling me the reason that guy ran out of your shop was that he thought you were hot and he panicked?”

Patton’s giggle filled the air as he nodded, face still red from his excitement.

“Oh my god, mood.” Virgil huffs a laugh and shoves another spoonful of ice cream in his mouth, letting his friend continue to gush.

**Author's Note:**

> I made this for my amazing friend and originally posted it on Tumblr but like why not here too?


End file.
